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The following post is from Amanda Bacon:
If you homeschool, chances are that going against the grain is part of your nature. Eyebrow raises, puzzled looks, and the shaking of heads doesn’t shake your resolve. You’ve thoughtfully and prayerfully made this decision to teach your children at home, wanting the best for your kids. You aren’t making a statement about their kids, just yours.
I’ve been realizing lately that no matter how against the grain and free we feel, sometimes we’re still stuck. Stuck in the how-to’s and should-do’s, they-do’s, and the fail-to’s.
We dive into homeschooling and think it has to look one way, or like everyone else’s way. She has her kids in art lessons. Maybe I should too. I’m depriving my little Monet the opportunity she deserves. And they are involved in drama. Maybe our kids are missing out, and will never thrive in life if they haven’t stepped foot on a stage. Oh, what have I done? I’m ruining my children.
Did you dream about experiences you wanted to have with your kids when you started out on this journey? Do those things. Maybe it’s sitting on the couch all cozy-like, with Nickel Creek playing in the background while you read Little House on the Prairie. Or maybe that sounds drab. That’s great! We weren’t meant to be the same – just because we like that sort of thing doesn’t mean you have to as well. You have permission to be you.
What if your vision for you children’s education could be encapsulated in a 64-count box of Crayola crayons? Would they be neon? Glitter? Skin-colors? Primary? Original? Gem tones? Let’s say you chose neon, and were passionate about neon. You get excited planning, dreaming, reading, and buying — all centered around neon.
But then you looked around and all the people you know chose primaries. No one you know chose neon. Would you begin to add a regular Red and a standard Green to your box and throw out Laser Lemon or Atomic Tangerine? Sometimes we do that for fear of feeling unnatural or to blend in a bit. But we don’t need to.
Us women are unique. God made you unique. Therefore, your homeschool will be unique. (click to tweet this)
I may not understand your love for Atomic Tangerine, but I can respect it, and trust that you are doing what you feel is best for your family. And you may not understand my Wild Strawberry.
Why would an expression of what’s in your heart come out looking like mine? And likewise?
As we jump into our 10th year, I’m now comfortable in my homeschooling mom skin. I even own homeschooling stretch marks. Oh, how it has stretched me! We do what suits us around here. Our family is different in makeup and dynamic than any other family I know. So shouldn’t our homeschooling makeup and dynamic follow suit?
You go ahead and be Jazzberry Jam, and I’ll be over here being Carribbean Green. Then we’ll both be happy. And we’ll still be friends.
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Amanda Bacon is the mother of eight kids, ages two to thirteen. You can find her blogging about faith and motherhood at www.amandabacon.com. She is also the co-creator of The Masterpiece Mom, the new website and podcast for moms! She has a love for adoption, homeschooling, and encouraging women through her writing. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. |
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I needed this today. Thank you. I’m learning to embrace my family’s uniqueness because we truly are a one-of-a-kind family. We don’t have to look and act like any other family, and I wouldn’t want to because then we’d be missing the point of the journey. That’s what I love about homeschooling. It’s meant to be a unique experience for every family, every child.
Exactly, Camie!
I have a feeling this post is going to come in handy sooner rather than later. My mom homeschooled my siblings (I was public K-12), and my son and I are getting ready to start kindergarten. She’s full of encouragement, which is great. She’s also full of ideas on how I should start, which is… less awesome. To use your analogy, she’s very primary colored and I think we’re leaning toward the wedgewood blues and olive greens. So it will be interesting to see how it all mixes.
I’m so glad your mom is an encouraging voice! It sounds like you might get really good at saying, “I appreciate your input as we’re figuring out what works for our family.” 🙂
Hope you have a stellar first year together.
Great article! When I started homeschooling I had no idea what I was doing. I pulled my son out of 1st grade at dove in head first and blindfolded. I drove myself crazy following homeschool blogs and felt like a complete failure, both in homeschooling and parenting. I quit following all but my 2 favorite bloggers and just focused on my family. 3 years later I still follow only those 2 bloggers and we are much happier and more confident in our decisions.
Smart move, Nicole! Simplifying the amount of incoming advice and suggestions definitely helps. Way to go.
Thanks for posting this! I needed to hear it. By trade I’m a teacher, but now that I have kids (3), I’m starting out first year homeschooling! We are very excited to begin and I need to remind myself that it’s not traditional school and we are different. And that’s ok. Thanks!
Happy 1st year, Erin!
Thank you for these great thoughts! I was unschooled grades 9-12 and I still feel like a weirdo, even among homeschoolers who are all doing something a little weird. I want to use Thomas Jefferson Education with my kids which has similarities to unschooling so I expect I’ll get some raised eyebrows, even from homeschoolers. What I really liked about this is respecting each other’s differences and appreciating them.
Thanks so much, Alyssa. In the homeschooling realm, it is so, so important that we come together and support each other despite differences… hoping you will find that camaraderie in your future homeschooling with your kids.
What a great reminder as we head into this new year. Each year, I’ve felt more confident about our decision to homeschool and what it should look like in OUR home.
The pull to compare is so strong, isn’t it?!
(And I adore Nickel Creek! Just sayin.)
🙂 Nothing wrong with some Nickel Creek! I feel it boosts us on those days that are slowly bumping along.
And yes, the pull to compare is very strong. But we have to just say NO.
There are not enough “Like” buttons in the world for a post like this! Spot on!
Well, thank you very much, Mary!
Razzmatazz is my colour!
This is a fabulous post. Thank you so much! As I enter my first “official” year of homeschooling it is hard not to look at how everyone else is doing it. At times I feel confident about my choices, and other times I wonder if I’m missing something or if my kids are missing out on something. This post is so encouraging to just be the homeschooling mom my kids need.
You’ve got it, Deanna. As you go along, you will begin to formulate even more what works and doesn’t work for YOUR family and kids. You stay Razzmatazz, and plan accordingly! Have a great year.
What I really find helpful about this post is the freedom to do it differently even if you are following a curriculum guide. I get so pressured sometimes, thinking I have to do it exactly the way it says in the book. The way I am sure all the other mothers are doing it. Thanks for permission to remember that vision I had at the very beginning!
Ah yes, curriculum guides. In our early years of homeschooling, it was a real struggle for me to leave any box unchecked. And now I feel such freedom! No one has the power to tell me what book and which pages I should be reading to my kids. The freedom to choose is so beautiful. Yes, remember that vision you have for your family, Jeanine! Thanks for your comment.
Love this!! Thank you so much for your words! I about to begin my journey! And by the way… That is the neatest crayon holder I have seen! Where did you get it?
You’re so welcome, Amy!
P.S. The crayon holder is by Crayola. I think it’s called a carousel. I’ve bought a few over the years, and have found them at Walmart and other large retailers.
Starting our first official day of homeschool Monday. Needed this because I’m getting nervous again. I am so afraid I won’t do it right. I now feel confident that even if we start out one way and don’t end the same way, we’ll be doing what’s right for us. Thank you!
You are SO welcome, Lauren. And you’re SO right. Have a great year!