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The following post is from Becky of This Reading Mama:
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Homeschooling has been such a blessing for our family. Although I never thought homeschooling would be an option for me, God had other plans. On the flip side, homeschooling has its challenges. And some days, it seems the challenges out weigh the joys. On such a recent day, the kids were bickering and arguing about everything, it seemed. I was about to pull my hair out. Seriously. It was cold and wet and we had been stuck inside with each other for days. I was tired of asking them to be kind to one another and felt my efforts were falling on deaf ears.
Then a still, small voice spoke (that I quickly recognized as God), “This is one of the blessings of being a homeschooling mom. You get to develop their character as well.” Blessings? Yes, I had forgotten that one of my main goals was to teach their hearts, not just their minds. Instead of being proactive in teaching their hearts, I had become reactive, which is not the prettiest of sights.
Teaching Kids Kindness
I quickly called a family meeting in the kitchen. I sat my three oldest down (ages 8, 5, and 3) and explained the difference between a kind word and an unkind word. I modeled a few examples of each.
I quickly dumped out a change jar, gathered a few “kindness jewels” (when you have preschoolers, you find that you have all kinds of manipulatives that can serve more than one purpose), and explained a new system that would start immediately. Whenever I heard a kind word being spoken by any of the kids, I would place a kindness jewel in to the kindness jar. And when the kindness jar became full, our family would do something special together (such as go get ice cream or have a picnic lunch together.)
Before the meeting was adjourned, we role played for just a bit, because I wanted to be sure they understood what I was asking them to do. I also inserted the rule that if they asked me to put a jewel in because they were kind, I would not at that time.
Our kindness jar sits in a prominent place on our kitchen counter. The kids like to hear the sound of the bling hit the glass bottom. Has it solve all our problems? Absolutely not. That was not my intention. But it is a wonderful reminder to me that I need to model kind words and encourage them within my kids. I need to teach and train their hearts as well as their minds.
What are some ways you teach and encourage kindness at home with your kids?
Becky Spence is a homeschooling mama to four little blessings who keep her on her feet {and knees}. She is passionate about teaching, specifically literacy. She is the author of This Reading Mama, where she shares reading and writing activities and tips as well as free literacy curricula and printables. You can connect with her on Google +, Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter. |
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I love the idea of being on the lookout for positive behavior (instead of just coming down on the negatives, which is so easy to fall into!)
I’m wondering if you would let the kids also drop jewels in the jar for each other so THEY would be looking for kindness as well, or do you think that would result in some misuse of the jewels? 🙂
Sarah, I love your idea! I think my kids are too young (and my 2nd son is extremely SNEAKY) to try this idea, but I bet older kids could try that. I have noticed how they do recognize kindness with themselves and each other more readily now. Yay for kindness!
NEVER too young to show kindness. What they learn in the first 5 years of life will stay with them the rest of their lives. This comes from a child psychologist I had for my grandson. He is now 30. I raised him the majority of his first 5 years. He is now 30 and the most wonderful joy of my life. He is proof that love, kindness, discipline, and grandparents really are most important for young people.
One thing to remember is that you do not reward bad behavior. When a child is ‘naughty’ or ‘out of control’ just because they settle down and become nice, you should not reward them. They will think, “If I am naughty, then I will be nice and then I can get rewarded.” Just saying.
Where do you get the jewels?
Do you ever take a jewel out for naughty behavior?
I think that would probably be fine to do, but you would probably want to make it clear to the kids ahead of time that that is something that could happen.
I love this idea! I am definitely going to try this as my kids have been arguing a lot lately and I have not been setting the best example. Thank you for the reminder to teach their hearts ????
I hope that it helps! 🙂
Becky!!! Everywhere I turn, I see another resource from you that I absolutely LOVE!! Thank you!! I love your website This Reading Mama!