Five Reasons Your Child Should Be an Altar Server Post Preview: Not sure if being an altar server is a good choice for your child? Here are five reasons to consider this meaningful role your child can fill during church services or Mass.
If you are in a church denomination where young people can serve as altar servers, acolytes, or some other type of similar position, you may have wondered if your kids should get involved in that way. Sure, it can be easy to write it off as another thing to add to what might already be a busy schedule.
However, I would encourage you to consider that being an altar server can definitely be worth the extra commitment. While I feel that children should be given an option about whether to become altar servers, I hope that by reading ways it can benefit them (and you) that you will consider discussing it with them.
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5 Reasons Your Child Should Be an Altar Server
While only one of my children decided to become an altar server (and that was a short-lived endeavor because of some anxiety issues and a training program that was lacking in training), I would still recommend it based on my own experiences.
I spent my first 30 years in the Episcopal Church. I was an acolyte (the name for an altar server in the Episcopal Church) for my entire teen years. Those experiences were special to me and it is a time I still cherish.
Based on what I have experienced first-hand, as well as the experiences of many families that I’m close with, I want to share reasons to consider having your children become altar servers.
Get to Mass or Church Services on Time
Okay, so maybe this isn’t the holiest reason for having your child be an altar server. But, let’s be real – it’s a good reason.
Maybe you don’t struggle with getting to church on time. Maybe your family is all neatly lined up in the pew with plenty of time to spare. If so, this perk of having a child be an altar server may not seem like a benefit.
However, if you find that your family is always rushing to get to church on time, this might be a good motivator for you. While my family growing up was always at church ahead of time, we got there especially early on Sundays when I was an altar server.
For us now, we are sometimes at Mass way ahead of time and sometimes at the last minute. However, whenever the kids have something going on, we are always there early. That means easier parking, less stress, and some time to have quiet prayer before Mass starts.
Sure, it might not seem like a particularly holy reason, but not needing to silently admonish people in the parking lot and having more time for prayer beforehand seems pretty holy to me.
Altar Servers are Actively Involved During the Mass
An hour to an hour and a half can seem like a long time to kids who are sitting during Mass or church services. Yes, of course, they should be actively involved in the pews as well. In my family, as I grew up in the Episcopal Church, we were expected to sing along to the hymns, say all of the prayers, and do all of the appropriate standing, sitting, and kneeling. Likewise, as we raised our kids in the Catholic Church, we expected the same of them. For us, being at church means being involved, even when you’re sitting in the pews.
However, having the opportunity to serve during a church service or Mass means a different type of involvement. When I was growing up, it was a level of involvement that I loved. I still did all of the same types of things I would have been doing in the pew, but I was able to do even more. Being involved in that way made me feel a special closeness to what was happening. Serving during a church service or Mass can be a gift to a child, not an obligation.
Being an Altar Server Means Hands-on Learning
I firmly believe that hands-on learning opportunities are some of the best learning opportunities that are available. It’s one thing to just read about something or hear about it. It’s an entirely other thing to actually participate in or utilize something.
By serving during church services or the Mass, children have so many hands-on learning opportunities. It’s a wonderful way for them to learn the names of objects used during Mass, vestment pieces, and other church-related terms.
My children (and many other children) all learned the names of objects used during Mass during their religious education classes. Sadly, but honestly, I will venture a guess that they may have a hard time producing many of the correct names for those objects now that they are older.
Conversely, when I was at a parent meeting many years ago and the religious education director held up an object to ask if any parents knew the name, I was the only one who indicated that I knew what it was called. Apparently, when you’re the one who lights the thurible and gets to swing it at several Evensong services, you might still be able to come up with the name of it 20 years later.
Will it make your child holier that they know terms like ambo or thurible? Maybe not.
But, it might make them have a better understanding and appreciation for what is going on during the service or Mass, and that’s a pretty wonderful benefit.
Being an Altar Server May Encourage Future Religious Vocations
Sure, your child may not go on to a religious vocation in the future. Being an altar server may give them a chance to explore the idea though. In a 2013 study of seminarians by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, they found that two-thirds (or around 67%) of the respondents said they had been altar servers in the past.
Even if a religious vocation isn’t in your child’s future, being an altar server in their youth may encourage them to seek out roles in the Mass in their future by doing things like being a reader or an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion.
Being an Altar Server is a Chance to Meet Others from the Parish
Serving at church is a wonderful opportunity to get to know other parishioners. Some of my closest friends at church when I was a teenager were the other teens that I regularly served with. While I also went to school with some of them, there were some that I only knew from church. Being involved with things like youth group and altar serving with them solidified our friendships.
It’s about more than just other kids, however. Through being an acolyte (remember – I was Episcopalian), I was able to get to know the priest, other adults who were involved in the service, and other parishioners. This happened especially because at my church there was a step to get down after going up for Communion, so one acolyte stood at each side to help anyone needing assistance, especially elderly parishioners.
Final Thoughts on Being an Altar Server
Again, I can’t stress enough that the decision to become an altar server or acolyte should be a shared decision. I don’t believe this is something that you should just tell your children they have to do. Of course, your parenting choices are yours to make.
However, I hope that these benefits might help spark a conversation with your children or even within your parish community.
5 Reasons Your Child Should be an Altar Server Printable Handout
We’ve had a lot of parishes inquire about reprinting this article to put in their newsletter or to give to parents in their school or religious education program. While we don’t normally allow posts to be reprinted, I decided to put together a printable handout from most of the information in this post for this purpose.
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This printable is free for personal, classroom, and group use. It may be printed in a parish newsletter. (The URL for the post MUST remain with the information.) This printable may not be used for any commercial purposes. If you aren’t sure if your use of them is allowed, just contact me to find out.
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here is a lovely post that is worth a read for all who have a child or are discerning having a child become an altar server. http://unam-ecclesiam.blogspot.com/2013/03/altar-boy-resources.html
What does your parish do to keep boys safe? We have a lot of scandal here even now, so no, my sons will not be altar servers.
Heather, great question. I pray that scandal doesn’t keep your son or daughter from participating in this awesome ministry. At our parish, we have group trainings, conducted by the ministry lead, and parents are welcomed and encouraged to attend. During Mass preparation, our altar servers dress in a different sacristy area than the priests/deacons. All rooms have the doors left open and servers always travel in pairs. Our parish does a beautiful job! Whatever you concerns you have, I’d share them with the ministry lead and your priest to ensure that everyone’s safety is a priority.
I’ve been anxiously awaiting this post since I saw the sneak peek! I love it!!
I cannot WAIT until my boys can serve. 😉
What are your thoughts on girls serving? I didn’t used to have a problem with is, but over the years I have decided that since serving at the altar is for fostering vocations, girls should not be up there. I feel this way for two reasons: 1) Every girl up there is taking the place of a boy who is missing out on the opportunity to be exposed to the priesthood in a way he never can be in the pews, and this is how vocations are fostered. 2) Girls can never be priests, so having them serve at the altar leads many to think that maybe they can be some day, or puts that desire to be a priest in their head and creates the confusion we have now in the church.
There are so many other ways that girls can serve the church, and exposing them to religious vocations and other lay positions and ministries is what our daughters need. How do you feel about that?
Cassandra, I think one of our highest priorities as parents is to help our children fall in love with Jesus. I can’t think of a better, more intimate way, than serving as an altar server. Quite honestly, I think girls who serve are more likely to see the beauty of the priesthood for men, than for themselves. I guess I don’t see them “taking a boys spot” but rather furthering their own faith life. I’m a convert, so my view may be slightly different, but I see so much fear among some of my cradle Catholics about exposing our kids to various things. For me, I want my girls to serve, to become enthralled in the Mass and the beauty of the Eucharist. It’s my hope it helps plant the seed for their own vocation, whether it be motherhood or religious life. If a boy wants to serve, then he needs to get his tail up there and get to serving! And, when my kids start to question church teachings (and I know they will, because I did!) I’ll be ready to help guide them. God bless! ~K
Kathryn, I hope you don’t mind me putting my two cents in for Cassandra.
I’m a ‘sort of’ convert — meaning, I was baptized Catholic, raised Baptist, then learned about being Catholic as an adult. Like Kathryn, I’m also the mother of five. My oldest daughter just graduated from high school.
Abigail served at our former parish when she was younger. As she was growing up,I was chomping at the bit for her to serve. In our parish, it was a sign of the children growing older, taking on more responsibilities, and learning more about our amazing Church.
As she went through server training, I couldn’t be more proud. She approached the training with respect (as well as a bit of trepidation), even getting up super early to serve at the 7am Masses. As a bit of a lukewarm Catholic at the time, it was a fire under my booty to get to Mass.
I feel like she learned a great deal about the Order of the Mass, and I hope she’s developed a deep love and respect for our Faith. To look back at Cassandra’s point, I wonder if she’s encouraged to serve in other ways in our Church as a result of being an altar server.
Looking toward my younger children, I’m torn at how I will approach the issue with our little ones. My sons will be expected to serve, and I’m planning on using Kathryn’s tack — “do it for one year.” I’m not planning on encouraging my girls to be servers. If they express a strong desire, then we will consider it, but I don’t plan on holding it up as a goal like I did with my oldest daughter.
I don’t think that girls serving is taking a boy’s spot, per se, but if girls weren’t on the roster, we’re challenging our boys to rise up and fill the slots available to serve. Does that make sense?
I’d love to hear from Cassandra about what roles girls can serve. In the parishes in which I’ve been a member, nothing really stands out in my mind. Perhaps I’m overlooking something.
I agree with you. Our priest has said what he sees is that girls tend to be “better” altar servers. They are more organized, pay attention better, more obedient. The boys get discouraged and end up dropping out because they don’t like being shown up by the girls. As a mom of both boys and girls, it makes a lot of sense. Boys tend to be hands on learners as well, so I think they need the advantage more than girls. Our priest HAS made a special job for the girls, though. They help with the linens and other things. Girls also tend to help out more with choir and music.
I haven’t taken a stance on the girl/boy thing. If the priest said only boys, I’d be fine with that, but my church has girls and boys. As small as the group is now, they are a very busy group of children. We all know men can go on the become priests and that’s it. But, remember, it’s not about the priest. It is about the gift of the Eucharist and the words of Jesus. I wasn’t born yet when the priest faced away from the congregation, but now I wish we were doing it that way, so we were all looking at God.
Could we please use this article in our Church Bulletin? We are willing to give you full credit for the work and cite it properly; we just want to make sure we have the proper authority to do so.
The post now has a printable that you may use to share with your parish: https://www.reallifeathome.com/5-reasons-your-child-should-be-an-altar-server/
My point of view about altar servers is that any child who wants to serve should not be turned away. When I was a child I always wanted to be a altar server but due to being a girl I was not allowed, As a cradle catholic I knew I couldn’t become a priest but for me I wanted to serve. At my parish we have altar servers both girls and boys and no girls are taking a space from a boy. They take turns, with 4 masses in a weekend, 12 altar servers are used they are in teams of three. Sometimes no one shows up and other altar servers at mass will take up the slack. Now as a adult I am allowed to altar serve as a adult during weekday masses. And I still am away of the fact that I will never be a priest but when I serve it is a blessing.