Photo by Pat McCord
As a convert, I’ve always been drawn to the Mass—its rituals, its words and its mystery. When my oldest turned ten, the parish sent us an invitation and encouraged us to attend altar server training. To be honest, I hadn’t really given it much thought until then. But, the idea of him participating in something as intimate as the Mass preparation intrigued me. We signed him up, and his response?
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“No.”
My response?
“Give it a year. After that, you never have to serve again.”
That was three years ago and he’s still happily participating in the altar server ministry much to my surprise and joy. Here’s why I think every kid, including yours, should be an altar server.
It’s one less kid in the pew.
Hey, I’m nothing if not practical. We have five children, so when our oldest serves it cuts down on the crazy factor. I’m certain the people in the pew behind us are appreciative. The bonus is it requires us to plan ahead so we arrive to Mass 20 minutes early. I find that we’re actually more prepared on the days he serves. Crazy, I know.
You’re fostering a future vocation.
According to a recent study, 75% of the 2012 class of Ordinands (seminarians) were altar servers. It’s no coincidence that when your children fall in love with the Mass, they fall deeper in love with God.
Whether your children choose a religious vocation or one of married life, the affect of experiencing the Mass in a personal way can only help to further their faith life in the very best of ways. You can read the full report from the Secretariat for Clergy, Consecrated Life and Vocations of the USCCB, conducted by the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA). It’s fascinating stuff.
Community with peers.
It’s become something of the “cool” factor among my son and his friends. They enjoy serving together. My son often drops by the altar server room before Mass just to see if they need an extra set of hands. He’s gotten to be friends with other boys and girls outside his peer group, our parish’s seminarian serving his pastoral year and our priests and deacons. We are called to live in community and I can’t think of a more positive bunch than that one.
Respect and understanding of the Mass.
In the early days, we struggled just to keep our son quiet in the pew. As he grew into a school-aged child, he was present but still very unaware and uninterested in the Mass. We tried it all—MagnifiKid subscription, books about Mass, pointing out key moments during the liturgy—all with mild success. It wasn’t until he began serving that we saw almost an immediate shift in his approach to the Mass.
Just a few weeks ago, after the priest’s homily, my son turned to me and said, “Is it me or are Fr. Ron’s homilies getting better and better every week?” One, I was impressed that he was actually listening and two, even more impressed that he cared enough to share that sentiment. I have no doubt his observation was a direct result of his time spent on the altar.
An opportunity for leadership.
When our son first began serving, he started by shadowing other altar servers. You could see his anxious nerves! Our priest was so kind and patient as he learned the ropes. Now, I see my son mentoring younger servers. I see him taking pride in making sure the Mass goes smoothly. I see him smiling on the altar as the priest gives him a word of encouragement. I see a fine young man learning to be a leader by example.
Lest you think we’re all piety and service over here, I’d like to share this parting story about our altar server experience. Just a few weeks into serving, my son came up to me and said, “Mom, I really love serving. It’s awesome.” That’s about the time I started to feel super proud of my parenting skills. After all, it was at the suggestion of his dad and I that he participate in the ministry. When I asked him why he loved it so much, I prepared myself to hear how wonderful the Mass now was for him. How humbling it was to hear this:
“It’s so much quieter up on the altar. There’s no one to fight with up there.”
Come to think of it, that just might be reason #6.
Kathryn is the mom of five, ages 12 to 3, and pleasantly surprised her oldest is still an altar server. When she’s not corralling kids, refereeing fights, organizing life, planning parties, designing client work or making dinner, she can be found at her personal blog, Team Whitaker. You can also connect with her on Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.
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here is a lovely post that is worth a read for all who have a child or are discerning having a child become an altar server. http://unam-ecclesiam.blogspot.com/2013/03/altar-boy-resources.html
nice post but pet peeve – your son is not ON the altar; the Body & Blood of Christ are ON the altar. he’s in the sanctuary.
Anna, thanks for the clarification. I used it as a figure of speech. My apologies if you were offended.
What does your parish do to keep boys safe? We have a lot of scandal here even now, so no, my sons will not be altar servers.
Heather, great question. I pray that scandal doesn’t keep your son or daughter from participating in this awesome ministry. At our parish, we have group trainings, conducted by the ministry lead, and parents are welcomed and encouraged to attend. During Mass preparation, our altar servers dress in a different sacristy area than the priests/deacons. All rooms have the doors left open and servers always travel in pairs. Our parish does a beautiful job! Whatever you concerns you have, I’d share them with the ministry lead and your priest to ensure that everyone’s safety is a priority.
I’ve been anxiously awaiting this post since I saw the sneak peek! I love it!!
I cannot WAIT until my boys can serve. 😉
What are your thoughts on girls serving? I didn’t used to have a problem with is, but over the years I have decided that since serving at the altar is for fostering vocations, girls should not be up there. I feel this way for two reasons: 1) Every girl up there is taking the place of a boy who is missing out on the opportunity to be exposed to the priesthood in a way he never can be in the pews, and this is how vocations are fostered. 2) Girls can never be priests, so having them serve at the altar leads many to think that maybe they can be some day, or puts that desire to be a priest in their head and creates the confusion we have now in the church.
There are so many other ways that girls can serve the church, and exposing them to religious vocations and other lay positions and ministries is what our daughters need. How do you feel about that?
Cassandra, I think one of our highest priorities as parents is to help our children fall in love with Jesus. I can’t think of a better, more intimate way, than serving as an altar server. Quite honestly, I think girls who serve are more likely to see the beauty of the priesthood for men, than for themselves. I guess I don’t see them “taking a boys spot” but rather furthering their own faith life. I’m a convert, so my view may be slightly different, but I see so much fear among some of my cradle Catholics about exposing our kids to various things. For me, I want my girls to serve, to become enthralled in the Mass and the beauty of the Eucharist. It’s my hope it helps plant the seed for their own vocation, whether it be motherhood or religious life. If a boy wants to serve, then he needs to get his tail up there and get to serving! And, when my kids start to question church teachings (and I know they will, because I did!) I’ll be ready to help guide them. God bless! ~K
Kathryn, I hope you don’t mind me putting my two cents in for Cassandra.
I’m a ‘sort of’ convert — meaning, I was baptized Catholic, raised Baptist, then learned about being Catholic as an adult. Like Kathryn, I’m also the mother of five. My oldest daughter just graduated from high school.
Abigail served at our former parish when she was younger. As she was growing up,I was chomping at the bit for her to serve. In our parish, it was a sign of the children growing older, taking on more responsibilities, and learning more about our amazing Church.
As she went through server training, I couldn’t be more proud. She approached the training with respect (as well as a bit of trepidation), even getting up super early to serve at the 7am Masses. As a bit of a lukewarm Catholic at the time, it was a fire under my booty to get to Mass.
I feel like she learned a great deal about the Order of the Mass, and I hope she’s developed a deep love and respect for our Faith. To look back at Cassandra’s point, I wonder if she’s encouraged to serve in other ways in our Church as a result of being an altar server.
Looking toward my younger children, I’m torn at how I will approach the issue with our little ones. My sons will be expected to serve, and I’m planning on using Kathryn’s tack — “do it for one year.” I’m not planning on encouraging my girls to be servers. If they express a strong desire, then we will consider it, but I don’t plan on holding it up as a goal like I did with my oldest daughter.
I don’t think that girls serving is taking a boy’s spot, per se, but if girls weren’t on the roster, we’re challenging our boys to rise up and fill the slots available to serve. Does that make sense?
I’d love to hear from Cassandra about what roles girls can serve. In the parishes in which I’ve been a member, nothing really stands out in my mind. Perhaps I’m overlooking something.
I haven’t taken a stance on the girl/boy thing. If the priest said only boys, I’d be fine with that, but my church has girls and boys. As small as the group is now, they are a very busy group of children. We all know men can go on the become priests and that’s it. But, remember, it’s not about the priest. It is about the gift of the Eucharist and the words of Jesus. I wasn’t born yet when the priest faced away from the congregation, but now I wish we were doing it that way, so we were all looking at God.