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photo by D Sharon Pruitt
I’ve been homeschooling for over seven years now and over that period of time I have managed to let go of the curriculum guilt that I used to experience. What is curriculum guilt?
Well, I think curriculum guilt takes two forms:
- The feeling that you must use a certain curriculum because you spent your hard-earned money on it, regardless of how the curriculum is working for you and your children. This type of curriculum guilt sounds like, “I bought this and I’m going to use it – I don’t want to waste my money!”
- The feeling that you must use the curriculum exactly as the curriculum provider says it is supposed to be used. This type of curriculum guilt sounds like, “I need to follow the directions exactly or I won’t be using it like I’m supposed to be using it and that is bad.”
I can remember very clearly a time when I let curriculum guilt guide me in how I was teaching my middle child math. He was in first grade at the time and he was a very active seven year old boy. Really, my middle son was incredibly, bouncing-off-the-wall, climbing up the refrigerator active. He was a true ring-tailed tooter. I was using a traditional textbook math curriculum with him that included a video component of a daily 30 minute lesson.
Now, there were lots of things about this curriculum that were excellent. The problem was that I followed the curriculum exactly the way that I was supposed to, according to the teacher’s guide. Therefore, my bouncing-off-the-wall, climbing up the refrigerator, active little first grade boy endured a 45 minute math lesson 5 days a week. I cringe when I think back to the days I spent drilling his rear-end on math facts he already had down pat. (I was drilling the math facts to his rear-end because he liked to sit on his head…and bounce up and down). I spent WAY more time than necessary teaching very basic math concepts to my son. I sat with him every day to make sure that he paid attention to his video, and answered every question, and completed every single exercise, and completed every hands-on activity. Doesn’t it make you tired just thinking about it?
Now, there was nothing wrong with the curriculum that I was using, there was something wrong with me. At the time, I just didn’t have the same level of confidence in myself and the homeschooling process that I do know so I thought I HAD to use the curriculum exactly the way the teacher’s manual told me to use the curriculum. Because of curriculum guilt, I made math much more difficult for myself and for my first grade son. So, what could I have done differently?
- We could have watched only a short portion of the video – perhaps only the part that covered the new math concepts and skipped the rest.
- We could have skipped the video altogether since I had to sit with him anyway.
- I could have looked over the math lesson to determine what math concepts were being introduced. Then, I could have used a game to teach the concepts rather than the worktext that day. For example, adding on a number line can be done on a gigantic number line that a young child can actually step on the numbers to find the answer. My son would have liked that game!
- I could have shortened the lessons, perhaps doing only half a lesson per day. Homeschooling allows for flexibility.
- I could have used some online math games to practice math facts with my son.
Really, there are endless ways in which I could have tweaked the curriculum to work better for my son. But I didn’t because of curriculum guilt. Since I’ve let go of that guilt, I realize that curriculum is no more than a tool and a guide. Sometimes I use curriculum exactly as it has been written, sometimes I don’t, and I don’t feel guilty about it.
What if the curriculum simply isn’t a good fit for your child/children and no amount of tweaking will make it right? My advice would be to try to prevent that from happening in the first place. How?
- Try to learn as much information as you can about the curriculum before you purchase it. Curriculum is expensive and choices should not be made lightly. Talk to other homeschoolers, read reviews, try to actually look at the curriculum either electronically or in person.
- Be true to yourself. If you truly hate doing hands-on-projects with your children, don’t order a curriculum that relies heavily on hands-on-projects, even if it sounds wonderful and works great for your best friend, favorite blogger, or homeschool group leader.
- When you find something that works great for you and your children, stick with it. New curriculum often sounds tempting but as the old saying goes, “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it.”
So, what do you do when you do all of the above and you still pick a curriculum that is not a good fit for your family?
Well, after spending hours and hours researching different writing programs for my 7th grade daughter over the summer, I picked one that I thought was a great fit. As it turns out, it wasn’t. I struggled through the curriculum with my daughter for 3 weeks – teaching her, helping her, encouraging her, and drying her tears. My daughter, who loves to write, was fighting back tears during her writing lessons. Finally, I realized that I risked damaging my daughter’s incredible love of writing if I continued with the program. So, I just dropped it. I put it away and I may try it again when she is older.
What did I do for a writing program for her for seventh grade? Actually, I decided not to add another one. I simply have incorporated a wide variety of writing assignments to our unit studies for her. She’s an avid blogger, journaler, and is writing a novel loosely using a creative writing curriculum. That’s enough for now.
Letting go of curriculum guilt is a long process, one that I think comes naturally with time and confidence in yourself and homeschooling. If you are suffering from curriculum guilt, though, try tweaking the curriculum. If it simply can’t be tweaked enough, consider other options. Always remember, there are lots of ways to teach any subject. Embrace the freedom of homeschooling and use curriculum that works well for you and your family.
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Thank you for this post. I just recently realized that I was making my math loving 10 yr old hate math, b/c I was doing the curriculum “by the book”. I remember reading somewhere that I am the boss and the curriculum is my slave, not the other way around. I am tweeking it so I dont need to buy anything else and planning ahead for this issue with my 8 yr old. It is nice to hear that I am not alone.
Molly,
I’m glad the article was encouraging to you. I have found that there is no “perfect” curriculum but different programs work well for different homeschoolers. With that said, almost all programs can do with a bit of tweaking to make the program work really well with the unique child or children that we are teaching. Thank you for your comment!
Samantha
Thank you!!!!!!! I needed to read this, and appreciate the time and effort you took to write this article. I only wish I had read it BEFORE I started homeschooling. 🙂
After 11 years of homeschooling, I am no longer a slave to curriculum! And it is so freeing…if it doesn’t work and I’ve it my best effort and can’t find a way to modify it to work…it goes, either on the shelf for later or as a gift to someone that may enjoy it. Great post!:)
.-= Tonya´s last blog ..Strike it Rich: Gold Prospecting in the USA =-.
My days of curriculum guilt are behind me, but I wish I had read this article ten years ago. I will keep this article to reference when giving counsel to young homeschool moms just starting out.
A most profound and brilliantly written piece. Truly. I’m guilty of plodding through lessons that Sprite has already mastered or that we’re both totally not interested in just because they are part of the program. I’m making progress, though. Just recently we skipped a whole week in our history program because it was about the Wright brothers, a topic that we’ve thoroughly covered elsewhere. It felt great! This is a must-read for new homeschoolers. Well, it’s a must read for all homeschoolers, actually.
.-= Jimmie´s last blog ..Theodore Roosevelt President Study =-.
I agree, Jimmie. We are sometimes skipping things in History that are too repetitive within the program (are you still using Winter Promise as well?). When we’ve already read a whole book about John Paul Jones, for instance, we don’t need to read another book’s section on John Paul Jones.
I have gotten a lot better this year at saying, “Okay, I know this is scheduled in history, but we’ve already covered it.” Same thing with math — I cross off math problems all the time, since we use a very repetitive program. So, instead of eight problems that are all review (that we’ve already reviewed a ton of times, by the way), I may cross out seven of them. That way, I can verify that the kids still know how to do it, but we don’t have to waste our time.
.-= Angie´s last blog ..I Would Be Remiss If I Didn’t Talk About Conan This Week =-.
Very helpful! Even if we have let go of curriculum guilt, we often need to be reminded to not pick it up again.
.-= Renae´s last blog ..A Child’s Geography =-.
I am a new home schooling momma. Well put it this way, I still tell people that we hope to home school. Neither set of parents supports our decision to do this that we feel led to do. My mom says that she thinks I should go through a school to prepare them for their transition later on. And his mom just doesn’t talk about it anymore. It’s hard but reading this has helped me. Thank you for making the time to share your experiance about carriculum guilt. I was thinking of going through a christian school near our home for first grade with our son but teaching it at home. Then if we moved I would use Abeca because everyone talks highly of it. I am terrified of the new path but know deep in my heart it’s the one I ought to take even though it seems that it’s my husband and me alone on it. These tall trees of doubt can really freak newbies out! Thanks again. Sincerely, Mommy of two little blessings & so much more!
Hello, Blessings! Thank you for your comment. It’s comments like those that keep me blogging – thank you for letting me know that my article was helpful to you.
I truly think one of the most difficult parts of homeschooling is actually making the decision to homeschool. I remember my stomach being in knots and handling criticism from others, some close to us. I had one very close friend who was a teacher in our local public school who was offended and our friendship ended as a result. But, my husband and I did what we felt was God’s best for our family.
Now, 7 years later, folks have long since stopped hassling us in any way (at least until very lately as my daughter approaches high school). Most people are very supportive of our decision now as they can see the fruit in our children’s lives. The real beauty of it is I no longer care about what other think. I know we made the right decision to homeschool and we are committed to our decision.
I encourage you to find support – here at Homeschool Classroom, other homeschooling blogs, or a local support group. I think all of the ladies who write for Homeschool Classroom maintain their own blogs and you can find those easily under the Authors tab. Homeschooling is fairly mainstream anymore and you should be able to find like-minded moms who can understand your decision. And, ultimately, it is your family’s decision – not the grandparent’s decision. Most likely, they will come around in time as your children do well at home.
Blessings to you, Blessings as you seek God’s best for your family!
Samantha
Thank you so much for this article. I am a new homeschool mom, we actually haven’t started yet. I am in the midst of ordering curriculum right now.
I have stressed and stressed and obsessed over trying to get the perfect curriculum and feeling bad because though I know my children’s personalities I don’t know their learning styles and I worry so much that I am going to get something that won’t work, as well as I am trying to combine a lot to reach the different age groups, 1st grader, 3rd grader and 4th grader. I relate to your 1st grader as my 1st grader this year is my busy boy who I have a feeling is not going to want to sit still and listen so I really appreciate your tips of making the curriculum fit to the child and not vice versa.
I am one of those people who have said I will NEVER homeschool and I see God working mightly in our life by changing my heart in this, even already I see how God is working in this to change my perfectionism and trying to work some things out of me even before I start schooling my 3 little guys!
I appreciate this article more than you know and it couldn’t have come at a better time! Maybe you can post an article on tips for homeschooling the busy child! I need some of those tips!
Hi Samantha,
funny how I came to find your post.. exactly at a time where I’m so frustrated, having 5 1st grade curriculums about social studies (that are provided from school) and still struggling. Can’t seem to find simply ONE book that has all I need… I think I am too frustrated these days to see the obvious like: doing things our way, not the “right way”, the curriculum only being a tool etc. so very much appreciate you sharing your thoughts with us,
blessings !! Myriam
Love it! My daughter is going into sixth grade and this past spring was the first time I allowed myself to toss something that wasn’t working for us! Thanks for the article!