I loved going to visit and being in the happy family’s home didn’t feel uncomfortable, it was a true blessing. I admired the mother for keeping her chin up under her circumstance. But, I never pitied her because I knew she took pride in what she was able to do with her surroundings.
As my family grew, I would call her and ask her how to keep things organized. She would encourage me to get rid of what we didn’t need or use. She also had great storage ideas.
Our house started out not too much bigger then hers and the babies just kept coming. Whenever I felt upset with my circumstance I would think of her and it would keep me going. We’ve managed to add on a few more square feet, but we still have a small home for seven people.
These are the things that I have learned about living in a small home with five children:
Teach my children to love each other rather then stuff
We all know that we can’t take “it” with us. Why do we insist on cluttering our homes with stuff and plastic junk? I want to instill good character in my children. I want to teach them how to love one another and serve each other. None of this requires the use of plastic stuff. Life is about personal relationships with others.
Does this mean I don’t own any plastic junk? No! But, I question every item that enters my house.
Sharing is essential to life
The best way to learn how to cooperate with someone is having to share something with them. We share one bathroom with seven people. Let me tell you, it is tough. But, I honestly think that our family is as close as it is because of the kind of cooperation that we have to have with each other.
Our children share rooms with each other too. They don’t have the same interests so we have to carefully think over new hobbies. One of my children has an interest in astronomy. Before I bought him a telescope for Christmas I had to ask, ” Where are we going to put it?”. Usually, if something comes in then something needs to go out too.
Since they share space, I have to consider everyone involoved. It’s often a family decision about what comes into the house and what goes out.
Stuff is a hinderance
Too much stuff hinders creativity. Children will find many ways to play with anything that is available. If left outside for long periods of time they build shelters and forts. And, they will come up with a myriad of games using sticks, leaves and nuts.
Children that have everything get bored quickly. They say they have “nothing to do”. Since they may not get a chance to use their creativity if they are always given new things, they think they are bored. If children are given too much, they will value none of it.
My new attitude about stuff
We have developed a certain attitude about stuff. I know it is because we were forced to examine everything that comes through our door by asking:
- Do we need this?
- Does this add value to our lives?
- Where will we keep this when we are not using it?
- Does this develop creativity or hinder it?
I once had a friend ask me if I missed being able to have more stuff. Did I feel like I couldn’t give everything that I wanted to give to my children? I realized that she was coming from a different mind set. She wanted to provide more, but not in the way that I wanted to provide more. I wanted to provide more time to be together forming relationships. All that is required is shelter, food and clothing. (And, books for us homeschoolers.)
Really! That’s it. The rest is a distraction. It may seem extreme to think about it this way, but it helps keep my focus on what really matters.
Brenda blogs at The Tie That Binds Us about her homeschooling journey with five children in a small-ish home.
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I know very well of what you’re speaking about.
We were a family of 8 that lived in a 750 sq.ft. house. I say house instead of home because my attitude about our tight space was less than desireable. I didn’t have the attitude then of being thankful.
Even though I didn’t verbally complain to my husband, he knew my discontentment. He understood my feelings but didn’t share them with me.
God performed surgery on my heart. He made me thankful to not be homeless, to have a hardworking husband that wanted/wants the absolute best for his family.
It wasn’t until I accepted God’s goodness and became faithful in the little things that He showed us favor and we were able to move into a home that better suits our family.
.-= Kela´s last blog ..Graphic-Toolbox =-.
We traveled off and on for three years with my husband’s job while staying in hotel rooms, temporary apartments and campers before finally buying our motor home. No, we do not have nearly the space we had at our home. Staying in a hotel room and packing all our essentials for our family of five made me question constantly what was truly important. I certainly view “stuff” differently than I used to and it is very freeing, plus it saves us a lot of money because I know I don’t need that new decoration for the living room or neat kitchen appliance. We don’t have room. I still struggle with books though!:)
.-= Tonya´s last blog ..Travel Tips: Stay your way to FREE nights =-.
Thank you thank you for this post! What a great reminder that life is about people, not things. And that every item that comes into our homes should be carefully considered. Good inspiration to keep going through our stuff 🙂
Raven,
We always have a box of stuff to go “out” on our porch or in the school room and when families come over that need a blessing, I hand them a box. Or, in some cases a trunk full.
Tonya,
Notice I did include books as a necessity. ; )
Kela,
My husband reminds me all the time to be faithful with the little things and God will bless us beyond our needs. Thank you for sharing your heart.
-Brenda
Being a family of 5 and living in a 713 square foot home has taught me these same things. It still is easy to get discouraged and frustrated, thanks for the reminder of the important things in life!
Thanks for articulating so well these excellent reasons to continue divesting ourselves of more of our stuff! We live in a fairly large home, but I still have the same feelings about “stuff”. I see excess belongings as being a burden, not a sign of contentment or having “made it”. As you mention, stuff has to be picked up, cleaned, maintained, stored, etc. Life’s too short for too much of that!
That said, I never worry about having too many good (aka living) books around, or CDs of good music. That stuff can take all the room it wants to. 🙂
Thanks so much for this post. A great reminder to remember where our treasure should be!!!
.-= Kelli´s last blog ..Are You Ready? =-.
All that is required is food, shelter, and clothing. And books! I love it!
.-= Angela @ Homegrown Mom´s last blog ..Family Fun Night Link-Up! =-.
I’m in a similar situation and I have to say that is has actually been a huge blessing. We’ve had to really evaluate all the things we bring into our home and what is really necessary. I think I might jsut have to do a blog post, or series even, on how we squeeze life into our tiny house.
.-= Sarah @ OrdinaryDays´s last blog ..You Are My Sunshine =-.
Wonderful! I have a family of six and our house is small. We have three bedrooms but we are cramped. I get very frustrated at times…but reading this gave me a new spark and inspired me in a new direction. Thank you so much!
.-= Richele´s last blog ..Homeschooling family spreading the suds: Virginia Soaps and Scents =-.
It is always inspiring to read about how others who live in small homes are grateful, thankful, and organized. I am always whining about our “lack of space”. Actually, it’s not the space that’s the problem, it’s the stuff and the storage issues. I especially like that the article talks about creating relationships among the children. Thank you!
Great post! When our stuff accumulates no one is happy. It suffocates us! Less is indeed more! Thanks for the reminder.
.-= Dana♥´s last blog ..RECESS =-.
Thanks for the important reminders! Every so often, I get tired of our small house. Most of our friends have houses that are much bigger than ours, and I find myself getting jealous. Then, I try to remember, “Oh well — it’s less to clean.” 😉
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Chocolate Molten Lava Cakes =-.
Wow! It’s encouraging to me to know that others are living in small houses. I completely agree about getting rid of stuff. Now if I could just pry my fingers off more of these books…
.-= Renae´s last blog ..Detours and Distractions =-.
I love this post! We are a family of 6 in a small space (like pretty much everyone around us, since we live in Japan). I was saying, “yes” and “amen” all through your post. I know that I have had to do a lot of attitude and heart adjusting aver the years, but overall it has been a huge blessing to always have to think about what is truly necessary.
.-= Sue´s last blog ..Oh, Look! =-.
I really enjoyed this post! I wanted to comment because we are blessed with a very large home. It can be difficult to keep it from getting out of control – there is more room for more stuff. Our children all share bedrooms and bathrooms and I think that has done a lot for their development. I have one child who is a natural neat-nick and his roommate is a total slob. They have had to learn to work together to keep the room to the required level of neatness. I tend to be a big fan of organization so I think things stay fairly well ordered.
My husband & I feel very strongly that since we are blessed with such a good size home we should open our home to various groups at every opportunity. We host business associates when they are in town, we host yearly parties for the students at a nearby Catholic college, I conduct a children’s Latin choir out of my home – we just try to use the space we have in service of God.
One thing I would suggest to anyone – regardless of home size – is to find a photograph of someone truly less fortunate than yourself and place it in a commonly used place. I find it helps keep the heart in a place a gratitude. Beside my kitchen sink I have a photograph of a woman in the Sudan holding her baby and her “house” (in reality a single wall constructed of straw and rope). You can find great pictures along these lines at silentimages.org
Some very good friends of ours with 10 children lived in a garage for many years while building their home. I learned so much from them and their organization and apparent lack of “stuff.”
.-= Amy @ Raising Arrows´s last blog ..When You Just Can’t Hack Cloth Diapering =-.
We were 8 in a 960 sq ft home. Child 6 about did me in but before that it was fine. I know I would have made it work except we moved and feel blessed to be in about 1400 sq ft now. IT feels huge. 🙂 Great post!
Hey there! Thanks so much for your post! I too find God working on my heart about our circumstances right now, I say there’s not enough room, God says,” Dani, be thankful that you have a home, that your children have food and clothing and shoes on their feet and that you have a husband who values you more than anything and is willing to sacrafice absolutely everything for you and your children”. We are a family of five living in an 800 square foot home and honestly, I love it. My 3 girls share a room (they are ages 4, 2, and newborn), and my husband and I have our own room, I am so thankful that we have what we have and that I am able to stay home with our kids and give them the best. Some days being a stay at home mom I get a little wigged out, but it just takes putting things into perspective and remembering that kids are just kids and they aren’t trying to make me go bonkers (haha at least I hope not!) . I am learning to not stress the small stuff and to let my kids have fun and not to yell as much (hard some days but the days when I don’t lose my temper and calmly handle things are great days!) . It’s all in how you handle it and in the perspective with which you look at situations and day to day life like you said! In June my husband leaves for a year long deployment to Afghanistan (he’s in the Navy) and we will all miss him so much especially since all 3 of our girls are total daddy’s girls 🙂 But I know that God can protect him just as well there as He can here. Thanks again for your post – very uplifting! 🙂 Hugs and God bless! 🙂
Thank you for your post. I actually have the opposite problem. I have 8 children in a 5 bedroom almost 3000 square foot house. I have so much stuff that I cant even manage it. I spend all day cleaning stuff and putting stuff away, and yelling at kids for getting more stuff out. I’m pretty fed up with stuff! I am currently trying to convince my husband that we could live less complicated lives if we all moved into our mobile home that sleeps 10. In addition to too much stuff, I have been thinking about how much money has to go toward this big old house that I am just miserable in. Trust me ladies, more space doesn’t make you happier, just more weighed down. Free your self of stuff, us Americans live in excess, it’s ridiculous!
We are a family of 5 in a 2-bedroom townhouse. When the youngest was 1, we moved him out of our room & into the kid’s room, but built a toddler-sized bunkbed to free up floor space.
You can see a few pictures at: http://lempskies.blogspot.com/2010/02/toddler-sized-bunk-bed.html
It has worked well for us.
Other tips for small spaces:
-towel hooks at the kid’s level in the bathroom
-folding kid sized table & chairs to free up space at the table if you have guests for dinner (you can buy a set for $30-$40)
-simplify holiday decorations. We have a Christmas tree & wreath, but we have one Halloween box for costumes & 3 Christmas boxes (including the tree box). We don’t have “Easter baskets”, we use decorative baskets around the house that normally hold silk plants or candles, etc. Who needs to decorate for Valentine’s Day or President’s day?
-buying toys that can be used up like bubble bath, sidewalk chalk, etc. The kids have fun with these items, but they don’t forever clutter the house
Enjoyed this post! I’m also glad to see that I’m not the only one who struggles to organize the book addiction and the writing career, all in a smaller house!
You are SO right. Stuff is the problem, not space. We are a family of 7 living in 960 square feet. I am on a daily mission to get rid of stuff. Yard sales, donations, whatever works! It really does help you to evaluate what’s really important!