We have been making a concerted effort this year to focus more on the meaning of Christmas than we have in the past. It’s easy to get caught up in the commerical and secular aspects of it. Why wouldn’t it be? It’s pushed at us. Starting at Halloween, the stores are decorating in red and green, and we get blitzed with commercials on the TV to encourage our holiday shopping. (This is not to say that I think that is bad. Heck, *I* was up at 4 am the day after Thanksgiving and was at Walmart by 4:30 am. And — I am well aware that there will be an iPod waiting for me under the tree come Christmas morning.)
But, anyway — we’ve been trying to refocus this year. And, while I think I am doing okay for the kids, I still find that deep down, I am still in the secular mode. I’m the Mom. I’m the shopper and the present wrapper. I’m the one addressing Christmas cards (which, by the way, hasn’t been done yet), and I’m the one picking up stocking stuffers. And, I was the one today to call Starbucks to find out the best way to get 15 gift cards. I talked to Katie, who was snippy with me. Seems the thought of ringing that up was less than enjoyable for her. It ruined my morning. I obsessed about it, and planned how I would stop at Starbucks a few times for five cards at a time. What a pain! In the end, my obsessing got too much and I went to a grocery store near us that has a Starbucks inside, and the woman who rang me up was just too sweet! Not only did she not fuss, she apologized when she heard about Katie’s reaction to my question. And, so I happily left with 15 gift cards.
So, this is still me in shopping mode, not in a true Christmas mode. And, because of that, I think I will pray today for the kind of childlike wonder that Noah showed me last Wednesday night. After his religious ed. class (he is in 1st grade), he told me they had watched a movie about Christmas. He instantly had huge eyes and started pounding his hands together a la Noah style (this is one of the outward signs of his Autism). He said, “Mom — baby Jesus was so beautiful! And, do you know what? (insert squeal) He was GLOWING! He was glowing from the inside out, Mom! He was so special!” I thought I might cry to see his excitement, and I hoped that I might have that kind of excitement too.
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