Revisiting My Dream Homeschool

Last week, I was very honest and shared my confusion and heartache over our homeschooling not looking like I always imagined it would. I was then the receiver of so much encouragement, advice, and “I’m right there with you” comments.  It was really an amazing experience.  I was so encouraged, in fact, that I rescheduled all of the posts for this week and with each author’s permission, I posted the comments from five commenters.  I hope that you’ve enjoyed, been inspired, and/or been challenged by what they had to say.

It would seem like the week was not complete if I didn’t share again.  I really took those words to heart, and I set out to see what was broken — was it my dream or our homeschool.

First, I prayed on it.  I also did some soul searching. Did our homeschool not look like my ideal because of something I could control?  Did I actually need it to look like I thought it should?

Already with doing those things (and with some of the comments I received), I came to some pretty important conclusions:

1. My kids are not me. What I think sounds like an ideal homeschool is not what they would say.

2. My ideal homeschool sounds lovely.  That is, it sounds lovely for 34 year old me. I would venture a pretty safe bet that six year old me, nine year old me, and eleven year old me (the ages of my children) wouldn’t have been overly crazy about my ideal homeschool as it looks in my head now.

3. If I want homeschooling to not look like going through the motions, I need to embrace the things that they really love and try to run with it. That’s not to say that it is going to be all child led.  But, that is to say that I know they all love science, so I need to find lots of ways to incorporate it in our day-to-day lives.

4. Each of my children is unique. If I really want to inspire them to love learning, it’s going to mean that at times, I will need to cater to only one of them.  (I will admit that I cater to one particular child of mine.  Not as a matter of preference, but because his needs are greater.)

Realizing all of these things, I knew my next step was to have a serious discussion about our homeschooling with my children. I did it over dinner one night, and it continued through an after dinner walk.  I told them I wanted to know more about what they like about our homeschooling and what they don’t like.  Are there things we could change or are there things they definitely wouldn’t want to change?  (This was all I said, mind you.  I didn’t try to lead them any further than this.)

The very first statement uttered at that dinner table made my husband quickly spin and look at me, since he read my sorrows in that post last week.

“I really like workbooks,” my nine year old son said. “I definitely want to keep using workbooks for the subjects we already use them in.”

Hang on.  One of my main complaints was I thought we shouldn’t be using too many workbooks, and this is the first thing mentioned as a plus?

“Yeah,” my eleven year old chimed in, “The workbooks we use are good.”  The six year old then agreed too.  She said, however, that she doesn’t want to do any more workbooks, but she likes the ones we use.  This maked the middle child ask, “Can we start doing a French workbook too?  I’d really like that.”

Then, the conversation melted into repeated talk about Legos.  (There will be a Lego class at our homeschool co-op next year.)  Every time I tried to bring it back around, it went back to Legos.  Finally, I was able to bring them back (after a lot of effort).

Talking to My Kids Taught Me the Following Things:

1. They like the workbooks, much to my shock.  (I guess if I got rid of them, they would all miss them.  Go figure.)

2. They like Teaching Textbooks and specifically asked not to change that. (I hadn’t planned on changing it, for the record.)

3. They definitely want lots of science. (This made me make some decisions about science that I didn’t expect, but it’s too long to go into now.  Suffice it to say, they’ll be pleased.)

4. They all love history and want to continue with a hands-on and living books approach. They were all thrilled, also, to be reminded that we are stopping American History (we did it for two years) and moving to Ancient World History instead.  I believe my eleven year old said, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

5. They want a more mature French program than the Hooked on French we had been using.

6. At least one of them doesn’t like art at all. He also would prefer no music instruction other than piano.  (I did assure him that he would still do art with us anyway.)

7. They like that we read and talk about at least one poem each week and read some Aesop’s Fables.

8. They all enjoy the religion program that we use.

Of course, there were more declarations as well.  But, I think the most telling was, again, from my nine year old that said, “Of all three years we’ve been homeschooling, this past year has been the best.  I think it gets better every year, Mom.  I can’t wait to see how it is next year!”

So there you have it, folks.  What I have seen as a failure, they see as a smashing success.  They like it the way it is.

I did propose that we add one afternoon a week where I have a large list of options for them to choose from that are not our normal activities. I told them, for instance, that they could pick from things like painting on canvas or building towers with the building material of their choice or creating storybooks or building a robot.  I promised that I would get their input when making cards and I would give them lots of options.  They were thrilled (and so was I).

So, thank you to everyone who took the time to encourage this week, or to be encouraged.  I hope that you gained something from all of the sharing.  I know that my biggest lesson I got was that just because I think something isn’t working, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t.  I just needed to ask the right people.

Have you come to any new revelations this week about your homeschooling?  Anything you want to change or keep the same?

Angie can be found writing about all of the things that happen in between loads of laundry at Many Little Blessings.  She is also the founder of The Homeschool Classroom, Catholic Mothers Online, and Connections Network.  She is also very thankful knowing that she’s not alone in this homeschooling journey.

Angie Kauffman
Angie, a domestically challenged nerd and mom of three very fun kids, is the founder of Real Life at Home.  Angie also listens to music every chance she gets, writes eBookspodcastsloves Pinterestdocuments the little moments in life on Instagram, and occasionally sleeps.


    • says

      I try to ask the kids things from time to time, but they’re always like, “Yeah, it’s good.” It’s hard o really get constructive feedback from them sometimes.

  1. says

    I’ve so enjoyed reading all the comments this week! As a brand new homeschooling family, it’s wonderful to see all the advise that was given.

    • says

      I’m so glad, Devon! Hopefully it will help you not hit quite as many of those pitfalls that we tend to hit in the first few years.

  2. says

    Oh dear… I read your post last week and thought to myself “I hear you!!!” I have been feeling kind of ruttish and dull in the school department… concentrating really hard on the things that my kids find the hardest trying to make them fun and really thinking I was failing… Then I thought about commenting and I had all sorts of encouraging things to say… read your comments and thought hmmmm why don’t we ever say nice things to ourselves that we are so quick to say to our friends… And like you I had a one on one discussion with each of my children fearing the worst!!! Only to discover that my math hater is loving the math we are doing and finally gets it and would love more of it!!! My child who hates language arts and we have chipping away at it bit by little bit… loves it more than anything… the child that spends hours sounding out words and I thought may never read fluently tells me reading is the best… And for ever thing else they love the art, the history, the mapping… There is a lesson here…
    I have a vision of a wonderfully flexible homeschool, packed with interesting outings and adventures, with hours of free play and creative thinking… and all table work banished to a distant land. But my children are loving the school they have, they think it is really flexible because we often only get started about ten am and we often do school all day… Isn’t making a map of the world and crafting animals around the world to attach it school!!!
    So the take home lesson is that my kids are loving school and the things I work on the hardest with them are the things they like the most – aha moment… what they really want is time spent with me and doing anything alongside their mum is good for them!!!
    I should blog this it is really long!!! I just wanted to thank-you for stepping out and getting me and I am sure many other homeschool moms to assess where we really are as opposed to where we think we are on our schooling path!!!

  3. says

    Beautiful! You, the children, the revelation in the discussion, all of it! Reflecting on your situation has been such a service to your readers as well. THank you!

  4. says

    i love this! so glad to hear your kids affirmed you in a way that was SO beneficial. sometimes the gifts we need, God places right under our noses.
    or usually. more often than sometimes.
    hope you have a wonderful weekend!

  5. says

    Thank you for sharing the results of your blog post. It is encouraging to see that sometimes what may not seem as ideal to you, is really what your kids are enjoying the most.

  6. says

    That is great that you were able to talk to the kids about it and feel more at ease with the whole thing. You are so right that what we, as adults have in mind is not what our kids most likely have in mind.

  7. says

    Such an encouraging post! Thank you. It prompted our own family discussion over lunch this afternoon, which I found to be very helpful and insightful!

  8. says

    Angie, I loved your original post, all the posts with the (very wise) comments, and then this wrap up one too. I think it just speaks so well to the fact that mamas really do know best and intuitively do what’s best for our families without even knowing it quite often! And we are our own worst critics. :) I’m so glad you received such wonderful affirmation that you are doing a great job and that your children love spending their days with you! I’ve always thought from reading your posts that you were doing a great job, lol, so I’m glad to know I’ve been right all along too! Hehe. 😉

  9. says

    Thank you for this follow up post! I think I’ll sit down with my kids (or while we’re in the car, car conversations are the best) & ask what they love & what they’d change about out homeschool. I’m curious to see what they say.

  10. says

    There is no perfect homeschool. Some things stay constant and others are up for grabs. It is so important to keep talking to your kids and find out what they like. Although you get the end decision, it is good to hear their feedback.